"Arms"

Song: "Arms" by Christina Perri (by request)

Pairing: Thalia x Nico

Sort of Alternate Universe, though not specified. Also sort of depression and mentions of past self-harm.

To the person who requested this - My deepest apologies if this isn't what the song is about! I had never listened to it before today, and I just put it on repeat a couple times, and this is what I interpreted just from that. So I suppose it's a sort of variation based on the principal meaning of the song. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy!

It's not that I'm scared of Nico. Honest. How could I be scared of him?

Maybe it's just that I'm scared of myself.

You know what, that's probably it.

I know how much Nico cares but maybe I just don't care enough? Or maybe I care too much and I'm suffocating him? Am I holding him too tightly?

Every time he tries to come near me, to help me, I end up pushing him away and the darkest part of my mind thinks that maybe he's just going to leave. And if he leaves…well, then what?

Then I'm nothing.

I suppose that's why I'm sitting here, feeling the cold bathroom floor beneath me as I stare at my phone, the silence deafening. He said he'd be gone for an hour.

That was five hours ago.

What if he's left?

What if he's cheating?

What if he thinks I'm not good enough for him?

You're not you're not you're not keeps racing through my head and old cravings keep coming back into my mind, but I push them away, I push them away…

I've texted him every ten minutes when the hour was up. I'm clingy, I know. But what if he's gone…?

He's helped me. He's helped me get through so many emotional toils in my life that I don't think he understands.

Maybe he understands too well and that's why he's gone.

Tears are sliding down my face as I try to avoid looking out the window. All I can think of when I look outside is where he could be and why he's not back yet.

There are too many reasons.

There's a razor sitting on the counter.

I haven't noticed it before.

Doesn't he know better? Aren't they all gone? Aren't they…? Hasn't he remembered?

Is this my punishment?

Just as I'm certain he's gone forever and maybe just picking up the blade won't be so bad the door's opened and then he's standing there, and I don't know why he even bothered to come back.

He stares at me for only a few seconds before he's suddenly coming forwards, throwing his arms around me and even though I'm not trying I'm suddenly calm.

But I should be angry.

I should be mad.

…Right?

"Where…where…" I can't say any more.

"It's a damn blizzard outside," he whispers, trying to sound gentle but he's angry. Did I do something wrong? I did, didn't I? Or is he angry at himself, like I am? "There was a traffic jam."

"I…phone…messaged…"

"My phone's dead. It's sitting on the dresser, remember? Shh…"

And something inside me just lets go and I sob quietly into his chest.

Even if I never had a proper home, maybe he gives me one.

A/N - Ehh…well, thanks for the request, and I hope this is good…I don't know if it turned out exactly the way I wanted to, but still, thanks for requesting one!