3) One Half of The Equation

“The feeling of not belonging, of not being entirely worthy, of sometimes being hostage to your own sensibilities. Those things speak to me very personally.”

-Anthony Minghella

 

Let’s just say, when I woke up, I was expecting trumpets.

Whatever Isabelle had drugged me with was strong, because even though I was awake, actually working up the strength to open my eyes was much harder. Finally, though, I decided the comfort of the dark wasn’t so comfortable anymore, and I let in the light. 

I was in some kind of hospital bed, that was clear. The room I was in was also fairly large - rows of beds filled most of the space, and it seemed I’d been placed on a random one in the middle. On the walls were shelves, filled with jars of…herbs? Minerva had once told me that the Greeks preferred natural healing methods, while the Egyptians liked advanced ones, but I’d never thought they used traditional herbal remedies. A door was slightly ahead of me to, and a couple windows let in some sunlight, but I couldn’t see anything outside. Nobody was in the room with me, not even in one of the beds; I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

I knew what had happened, of course. I had turned sixteen, and I had been taken to a camp. I didn’t know how they knew I was sixteen, or why the Greeks knew first, but here I was. The only thing I could hope for was that Rhiannon was here too, or that the Egyptians didn’t find me for a good long while. 

Without knowing what else to do, I sat up, and then immediately realized that my arm didn’t hurt anymore. I glanced over to see a thin, white bandage wrapped around my shoulder, covering the old wound. “Huh,” I muttered. 

“‘Huh,’ is right,” said an all too familiar voice behind me.

“Thank god you’re here, Rhiannon,” I sighed in relief, spinning around to look at her. She seemed different somehow - she was the same height, her bleached hair still fell messily around her shoulders, but her eyes held some kind of hardness I’d never seen. Her mouth was in a tight frown, and she seemed agitated, like she knew something big was going to happen but she didn’t know when. I guess she was right. “I didn’t know if Isabelle would let you come…you’re still fifteen.”

“You got it wrong, by the way,” she said, sitting down next to me on the bed. “I’m not sixteen in two months. It’s February, yeah? My birthday’s in November.”

“You told me it was in April,” I said, raising an eyebrow at her. 

“Sorry,” she said softly. “When I told you that I didn’t know if I could trust you yet.”

I nodded in understanding. The point made sense. “So they really might not have brought you here. You’re barely fifteen as it is.”

“Well, thanks for pointing it out!” she chuckled slightly, slapping my back playfully. “C’mon. I’m supposed to bring you out, meet people. They’re not too fond of me - I’m supposed to “prove myself” so they let me stay. So I get all the meaningless tasks.”

“Bringing me out is meaningless?” I said, faking scorn. She stuck out her tongue in reply. Without another word, I followed her to the door, somehow accepting of my ridiculous fate. It kinda helped to just focus on what you were doing and not what you would have to do, as cliché as it sounds. Like, instead of wondering what everyone would think of my burn, I was wondering what the outside of the camp would look like. 

No, I’m totally lying, I was freaking out about what they’d think about my burn. About me, in general, really. Cronus was known better in Greek mythology than Egyptian - the Egyptians called him “Apophis” and his mark was different. So walking around a Greek camp with a scythe on my neck probably wasn’t the best plan, but I didn’t have any alternatives. I wasn’t a makeup beauty and nothing could heal this burn, so I was stuck as a walking time bomb forever. 

Or, until something happened, that is. 

Rhiannon opened the door and stepped into the bright sunshine. The infirmary (for lack of a better word) seemed to be positioned on a large hill above an even larger valley. Three other hills, all with buildings on top of them, were also positioned on the cardinal points around the valley. The valley itself was full of small buildings, huts, almost, and there were a few people milling about around a large like right in the middle of the clearing. 

“This is it?” I asked her, sighing slightly. Minerva had been from the Greek side of things, and she told me all about what their camp was supposed to look like, so I wasn’t shocked…but still, I was expecting…more. 

“You’d think you were royalty,” she snorted, and I shrugged. “You’ve got people waiting for you.”

“People?” I asked, looking over. “I get Isabelle wanting to meet me, I suppose she’s some kind of leader, but other people?”

“Isabelle insists she’s not the leader,” Rhiannon explained, already making her way down the hill. “But everyone says she is. The Headmaster is the real leader, but I haven’t met him. And yeah, there’s a whole group of people who want to see you.” 

“I’m not the important,” I mumbled, but then I realized I was, and I stopped protesting and just followed Rhiannon. 

We marched, single file, down the hill the Infirmary had been stationed upon. There were some nice walkways on the slopes so nobody fell, which was actually something I had been worried about doing, to be honest. There were a couple people just wandering in the valley side by side already, and it sounded like they were having a very interesting discussion about Harry Potter before they saw us. 

“Ooh, the new recruits!” one of them, a short girl, laughed. 

“Oh, stop, Anika,” the other one, a boy, chuckled and gave a little wave. Unsure of what else to do, I waved back, but apparently I still looked awkward because he laughed again. “Hey, wait, what’s that on your neck?”

“Her grandfather made her get it,” Rhiannon lied, swooping in and saving me from having to come up with my own lie. Of course, my grandfather was actually Legend, the first Broken-Soul. 

“Why on earth would he - oh. Found out his wife was a Spirit and freaked out?” the girl (I was pretty sure the boy had called her Anika) asked. “Yeah, that happens a lot.”

“You’d think he could’ve put it in a better spot,” I said softly, trying to play along. 

“Yeah,” the boy said, exhaling. “We can probably cover it up with some makeup. I’m Shane, by the way. That’s Anika.”

“Thanks,” I said. “I think I’ve got to go meet Isabelle. Should I be worried?”

“Nah,” Anika replied, drawing out her knife and studying it in the sunlight. “She’s cool. Probably has Dustin with her, they’re never apart. Oh, Rayne’s got to be there as well. You might want to watch out for Rayne. Shane, does this need sharpening?”

I could tell we’d been ‘dismissed’ so I turned back to Rhiannon and gave her a quizzical look. “Rayne? Dustin?”

“Hey, I don’t know,” she said, raising her hands. “I’ve been practically quarantined. They still aren’t happy with a 15 year old around.”

“That’s got to be an advantage, though,” I realized as we resumed our walk towards one of the buildings. The sun was beating down on us, causing me to sweat through the warm clothes I was in. “I mean, monsters attack a lot when you turn 16, right? Like, they don’t sense you so well when you’re younger.”

“True,” she sighed, “But I’m still not ‘of age.’ Nobody, save for a few, really likes the idea of changing the sweet 16 rule.”

I didn’t have anything else to say, so we just trod along in silence until we reached the door of a very, very tall building. It was easily ten stories, possibly even higher. “What’s this for?” I asked Rhiannon quizzically. 

“The building?” she answered, never breaking stride. “As far as I can tell, it’s for housing. Each Spirit gets a floor to themselves.”

“To themselves?” I exclaimed. “But…that’s a lot of room for one person.”

“People are isolated here,” she explained, reaching the main door to the complex and opening it for me. “Suppose it just happens after a while.”

The front level was a square room, with fourteen different doors all around the walls - I could tell they were elevators. “One for each Spirit,” Rhiannon said, walking towards one on the left side. “Private elevators, I suppose. Takes you to your floor and only your floor.”

“This room isn’t that big,” I pointed out. “How can it support all of the levels above?”

Rhiannon gave me look and said, “Hey, how would I know? I’m the clueless fifteen year old. Call it magic, if you like.”

Good enough for me.

She led me to an elevator labeled “Artemis.” As soon as I approached it, it opened for me, and not Rhiannon. “Magic,” she repeated, and the doors closed behind us, taking us up. 

The trip took less than a minute, the doors opening to reveal a sitting room with a circular, wooden table and several chairs of the same wood. There were a few doors leading off the main room, one going to a kitchen, the other a bedroom, and one I couldn’t see. Three people, one girl and two boys, sat at the table, leaving three spots vacant.

“Are you Maya?” the girl asked, and I nodded, slowly moving forwards, tense and on edge. “I’m Isabelle,” she continued. “Please. Sit.”

I drew in a long breath before doing so, the chair squeaking slightly as I sat down. Rhiannon bit her lip before I motioned for her to sit next to me. Isabelle didn’t look all that pleased about it, but she let it slide. 

She introduced the other two boys, one being Dustin, one being Rayne. Dustin was tall and broad, with short brown hair and hazel eyes. He was wearing a white t-shirt and tattered jeans, but also a pair of black leather gloves which didn’t seem to work, but I didn’t comment. Rayne was of Asian ethnicity, and he seemed to slump a little more, instead of dominating the space. His eyes stared at me like he was trying to glimpse my soul, and he kept tapping the table with his fingers. Isabelle, on the other hand, seemed cheerful enough yet serious, with frizzy red hair and a few faint freckles on her cheeks. 

“So,” Isabelle said, “First thing I want to know is why you have a tattoo on your neck, of all places. And it’s…not the…best symbol, if you know what I mean.”

“I do,” I confirmed, trying to take the questions in stride. “It was my grandfather. He didn’t like it when he found out what my grandmother was. Took measures into his own hands and used up his anger on me.”

Isabelle nodded, and she appeared satisfied with the answer. “Next order of business,” she declared, and I had to cock an eyebrow. “There’s a 15 year old here.”

Rhiannon and I both let out a long breath of irritancy. “Seriously?” she cried. “It’s just-”

“Against our rules,” Isabelle interrupted her. “Sorry. But it is, and others might object.”

“She could be useful,” Rayne pointed out, speaking for the first time. His tone was smooth and careful, like he spent a long time deciding what to say. “Monsters would have trouble detecting her.”

“Her magical abilities won’t be perfect,” Dustin added. He had a British accent, clearly working its way through his tone. “But…you could be right.”

“You know, I’m right here,” Rhiannon snapped. “Could you stop talking about me like I’m not?”

Nobody answered her. Instead, Isabelle said, “So, we vote to keep her?”

“Keep me? I’m not a pet!” she snapped, but once again, her protest went unheard.

“Yes,” Dustin and Rayne said at the same time. The two glanced at each other and then looked away once again. 

“Right,” Isabelle said, turning to Rhiannon and flashing her a smile. “Welcome, Rhiannon. You are free to go to your room. Dinner is at six.”

Rhiannon scoffed, but she stood up anyways. “Thanks,” she muttered sarcastically, giving me a small look before leaving. 

“That was rude,” I said after she’d left, unable to stop it. “She’s not a child, you know. You have no right to treat her like one.”

“She’s only 15,” Isabelle said, pursing her lips. “She has to know that she is an exception.”

“Is it a rule?” I replied harshly, feeling a strange need to punch her in the face. “She’s saved my life. Does that mean I’m an exception, too?”

“Actually,” she said, “Everyone is a bit wary of you, as well. You have a tattoo of our mortal enemy, whether it be consensual or not. You, besides Rhiannon, are the last new arrival. You complete us. You brought a fifteen year old. Some of us are slightly afraid of you. I would consider you an exception.”

From the way she was talking, I guessed that Isabelle was the Spirit of Athena. Minerva had once told me that the characteristics of each god were passed down into their Soul, but I didn’t believe her. I was, and am still, pretty sure that Souls only act like their god because they’re expected to. Acting a different way would be too rebellious. Granted, sometimes I do act like Artemis and Isis, both, but still. Rhiannon certainly didn’t act like a wise Poseidon. Maybe when we hit sixteen, something changes, and the pressure to conform gets too much. 

Or maybe I’m over thinking the whole thing. 

“Great,” I muttered. “What now? Do you expect me to prove my worth or something?” Even though Isabelle was staring at me like I murdered someone, I wasn’t afraid of her. 

“No,” she sighed, standing up. “We’ll leave you here, for now. Dinner’s at six. This is your floor of the building - yours, and only yours. Feel free to explore. Welcome to the Sanctuary, Maya.”

“The Sanctuary?” I whispered. Nowhere was a Sanctuary. 

Before they left, I called, “I have to ask. What Spirits are you?”

“Hephaestus,” Dustin replied. That explained his leather gloves; he’d need them for working in the forges. 

“Athena,” Rayne added, sliding out of the room, making no sound. I could sort of see some Athena-like cleverness in him, but then I had no idea as to what Isabelle was. 

“I’m Apollo,” she answered. “God of the sun.”

“I know,” I said, but I was still surprised. “Shouldn’t you be…happier?”

The comment was unintentional, but she said, “Consider me an exception, I suppose.”

The door closed and I was left alone. 

*******

Dinner time rolled around, but I didn’t actually know until I heard the blaring alarm. I was too busy exploring my new “home.” There was a kitchen (though I wouldn’t need it if I got my meals served to me), a bedroom, a bathroom, a sitting room, and an armory. That’s right - I had bows, knives, swords, armour, shields…everything I could ever need to fight was in that room. There were also a few books. But I didn’t read them. 

As I mentioned, an alarm went off, which made me drop the knife I was holding, which fell to the floor and almost knocked over the display of arrows. “Goddamn,” I muttered out loud, picking the knife back up and sliding it back into its slot. I wasn’t hungry, and I didn’t want to socialize, but I went for dinner anyway. 

“Maya!” I heard as soon as I stepped out of the building. The crisp air tingled against my skin. One of the buildings on the hill next to the one I was on was completely lit up and delicious scents wafted from it. People were slowly leaving whatever buildings they were in before and flocking towards the lit building, which I assumed was the Cafeteria. “Maya, where you been?” Rhiannon draped her arm around me and together we walked to the Cafeteria, following the crowd that seemed to keep staring at us. 

“I don’t know,” I said out of route, keeping a watchful eye on the other pairs of eyes watching me. Actually, they weren’t watching me. 

They were watching Rhiannon. 

However, she didn’t seem to care. We entered the Cafeteria just as she was making some sort of loud and obnoxious joke that I hadn’t listened to. One long table with seats on both sides dominated the rectangular, brown room, with kitchens off to both ends, busy with people. Only a few places were remaining at the table, so Rhiannon and I took seats across from each other. I noticed, only a few seconds later, that Isabelle, Dustin, and Rayne had all changed seats to sit by us. 

“We figured you’d be lonely,” Dustin said, tapping his fingers a couple times on the table. “First day and all.”

“Everyone’s staring at me,” Rhiannon huffed. “Where’s the food?”

“You’re 15,” Dustin replied, “And it’s coming.”

Sure enough, a few workers (who never seemed to speak) brought out trays of food that everyone dug into. It seemed that Rhiannon was temporarily forgotten. “What’s the deal with that?” I asked after a while. “I mean, it’s just a year difference. Not even.”

“People hate differences,” Isabelle answered. “Even small ones. Things that break the norm are considered outlandish.”

“Why aren’t you staring at me like I’m from another planet, then?” Rhiannon said, violently eating a breadstick. 

“’Cause you’re not,” Dustin scoffed. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

The issue was pushed under the carpet after that. We kept talking, and I learned more and more about the three. Isabelle used proper grammar, she was very polite and well-mannered, but she had her humorous moments. She was considered a leader, though, so I supposed she had to act behaved. Dustin was relaxed and easy-going, and quite funny. Rayne was quiet, well-thought out, and wise. He always seemed to know the answer to a question. 

I also learned that Dustin and Isabelle were going out; however, that wasn’t allowed. Two Spirits could not date each other. That would only lead to a Broken-Soul (cough, cough, me). Everybody knew that they were going out - a long story, apparently - and nobody liked it, but Isabelle had assured everyone that it would not last, and that was why she stayed in control. 

“I hate to ask,” I said, “But the leader of the Greek gods was Zeus. So why isn’t the Spirit of Zeus considered in control?”

“Anika didn’t want the position,” Isabelle said, shrugging. “So I stepped up and took it.”

“Oh, don’t pretend you don’t like it!” Dustin teased her, which launched us into more conversation. 

When dinner was over, I went to sleep rather content. I had people (friends?) that seemed like they genuinely wanted to talk to me. I had a place here. I wasn’t the outcast anymore. 

I went to sleep relatively happy. The only thing haunting me was that I knew this wouldn’t last. 

********

Everything’s dark. I can’t focus on anything. My ears are ringing and my entire body feels like there’s a weight pressing down on it. 

I know I always have nightmares, and this is just another one of them. But this one is different. My neck doesn’t itch. It burns. Intense pain is slithering up and down my body, and it feels like something is slamming into my head repeatedly. 

I don’t know what’s happening, but this is different, and I don’t like it. 

“Maya.”

The voice is smooth, slippery, almost cold and hot breath races down my back. Something’s behind me. Something is right behind me but I can’t turn around and I can’t move - 

“Maya, you can’t hold out forever.”

My heart is beating faster than normal and my breath is coming too short. I can’t move. I can’t talk. I can’t do anything. 

A cold hand presses against my back and I find the ability to scream. 

I start to fall, but I still don’t reach the bottom. 

********

I woke up the next morning with the familiar adrenaline rush and the cold sweat on my forehead. I just sat there for a few minutes, stunned. The nightmares had never been like that. The burn on my neck was still itching and I swear I could feel the hand on my back. 

I knew I’d always remember that voice, too. 

But I collected myself, because I had to, and then got out of bed, dressed, and went down to the Cafeteria again for breakfast. 

********

“Half of the Spirits are in one class, half in the other,” Isabelle explained to me and Rhiannon as we got out breakfast. “You two are both in my class. I made sure of it.”

“What strings did you have to pull to get that?” Rhiannon asked, but now her sarcastic remarks were a joke, and not serious. 

“Good morning,” Dustin said cheerfully as we sat down at the same spots as last night. “Sleep well?”

“Yeah,” Rhiannon said, shrugging, and I just nodded. I was used to the nightmares. Last night’s was probably just different because I was at a new place. Right?

“We start with Archery,” Isabelle continued, staying on track, as always. 

“That should be okay,” I said. I was the Spirit of Artemis, and she was the goddess of hunting, after all. 

“You might not be that good at it the first time,” Isabelle explained. “It takes some warming up to it.”

“Right,” I said, nodding. “Of course.”

“Are you okay?” Isabelle asked, chewing her muffin in careful bites. “You look tired.”

“Yeah,” I said, shrugging. “Just kinda tired. Not used to this.” 

“Mhm,” Isabelle nodded, forgetting about it in a second. I wished that it was that easy. 

Rayne joined us then, his hair somehow styled perfectly and his eyes bright. “Do you just wake up like that?” Rhiannon mumbled under her breath. 

“Yes,” Rayne answered calmly, not even looking at us. I couldn’t decide if he was rude or just extremely confident. I liked the second one better. 

We ate mostly in silence, while Isabelle told us things about the classes that I didn’t listen to. The voice from my nightmares kept replaying in my mind and it took a while to realize I’d been staring at Rayne the entire time I was zoned out. Quickly my eyes shot off him, but he had already seen. Thankfully, he didn’t do anything, but still - I was scarred for life. 

Breakfast ended and I practically scurried away from Rayne. He was still looking at me as I joined Isabelle and Rhiannon. I tried not to look back. No, really, I did - but my eyes caught his and we looked at each other before I had to blink. 

“The Archery field is here,” Isabelle was saying when I caught up to her. The area of the valley we were in had a few targets and some bows lying in a pile on the ground, but that was it. It seemed small to me, but Isabelle looked very proud of it. 

“Line up!” someone yelled. I turned to see a tall man, dressed mostly in black, standing beside a target. A few other people were milling around the target range, too, and they all moved to grab a bow, so I did as well. 

“That’s Mr. Brown,” Isabelle whispered to me. “Anika’s dad. Just…do as he says.”

I resisted the urge to laugh and got in a line with the other Spirits, wrapping my hand around the bow and trying to gauge its weight. “Everyone’s going to get at least an 8 today,” Mr. Brown said, addressing all of us. Rhiannon gave a nervous gulp beside me. She was the Spirit of Poseidon; no archery talent there. “When you do, you get to stop. If you don’t, then fifty push-ups.”

The first person in line was Jasmine, the Spirit of Aphrodite. Everything about her seemed perfect. Her eyes sparkled blue and her hair looked like pure gold. It was hard to draw my eyes away from her. She shot her arrow, but only landed a 5, which made her throw her hands up in anger. “That’s good enough,” she protested. “That’s on the board. That’s good enough.”

“Back of the line,” Mr. Brown sighed, like he was used to dealing with her. 

“But I-”

“Back. Of. The. Line.”

“Fine,” Jasmine snapped rudely. “I don’t even need archery.”

Mr. Brown shot her a look that could kill as the next person (Isabelle) stepped up to shoot. She looked experienced, and her god, Apollo, was the other god of archery, so she hit an 8 on her first try. She and Mr. Brown both shrugged as she moved away from the line and sat down on the grass a few feet from the target. 

Rhiannon was next, and although she was awful she gave it her best and landed a solid 3. I thought it was pretty good, but it made Jasmine and a few other people erupt into laughter. Mr. Brown tried to hide a smirk of his own as Rhiannon grumbled and moved to the back of the line, where Jasmine proceeded to turn and talk to her. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but Rhiannon did not look happy. 

“You’re up,” Mr. Brown barked at me and I forced myself to look away from the rest of the Spirits. The bow fit easily in my hands, even if it wasn’t weighed correctly, I still drew the string back and let the small arrow fly. My vision tunneled, as I knew it would (Minerva, my grandmother, had taught me to use a bow when I was seven), and I saw the exact path of the arrow as it flew through the air and landed a perfect bulls-eye. 

“She’s cheating!” Jasmine called from the back immediately. 

“That’s lucky,” I heard Isabelle say in a low voice, but as I looked over, she wouldn’t meet my eyes. 

“Beginner’s luck?” Mr. Brown suggested and I shrugged, setting down the bow and arrow and sitting by Isabelle, letting Shane (the person after me) prepare to shoot. 

“How did you do that?” Isabelle whispered as soon as I sat down. “You shouldn’t be able to do things like that!”

“I guess it was just beginners luck, like he said,” I lied. “It just happened.”

“I guess,” she replied, shaking her head a few times and turning back towards the class. 

Archery was finally over, with only Rhiannon and Avery (Spirit of Ares, the war god) left. They both did fifty push-ups and we moved onto the next class. 

I thought they would go okay; they didn’t. 

During Regular Schooling, I knew almost every answer in the book. I ran the five miles in gym faster than anybody previously had, and I already had full control of my powers in magic (though I did learn a handy spell for night vision). I knew all of the god’s History in that class before Mr. Berello even opened his mouth, and the “Practicality” class (which threw you into a situation and you had to get out of it) was extremely easy. 

It turns out that being a Broken-Soul and having the powers of four gods makes you stronger than I thought it would, making me excel at everything. It sounds good in principle, but nobody would believe my “beginner’s luck” excuse after a few times. Rhiannon knew why I why I was doing so well, but by the time Dinner was over I was already getting some jealous stares. 

“You’ve got to hide it,” Rhiannon hissed when we were walking back to our rooms. “I mean, it was awesome what you did, but…”

“I know,” I whispered. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that it would show as much as it did.”

Just then, Rayne brushed by my side, and even though Rhiannon didn’t hear them I was sure he whispered, “Be careful,” into my ear. He shot me a short look before he hurried ahead. 

“He totally likes you,” Rhiannon commented dryly. 

“No,” I snapped immediately. “He does not.”

“Oh,” she realized, a smile creeping onto her face. “You like him.”

“No!” I protested even louder. “Definitely not! Stop making that face!”

We said goodbye then, and I went up to my room and she to hers. I should’ve felt good, but I didn’t. I knew I was going to lead the Egyptians here. I knew I was way too powerful for my own good. Something was up with Rayne, and I didn’t know what. My nightmares were getting worse and I didn’t know what they meant. 

No matter how long I stayed here, I would never truly belong.